more changes afoot

Hello again Blogworld,

Well, I said I would post again soon, and sure enough, in less than a month, I'm at it again. It's another Festivus Miracle.

Okay, so let's get right to it. Some more rash and drastic changes in Dirks World. I'll just lay it all on ya. We're selling the house, paying off our debt, and moving - in with the in-laws - for at least a year.

So here's the skinny. Turns out my new job is not in the city originally thought, but a different city, and just 6 minutes down the road from my in-laws. Once they heard this, they put on a full court press to get us to move in. The crazy part is I thought they made sense. Basically, it is just crazy for us to live in a city where neither of us works. Wife is only 15 minutes from her folks. So they said there is no reason to spend around $600 a month on gas, 8 hours a week each in the car, and all that money in interest to banks, just so we can move to that city anyway in about 3 years.

So we pay off the debt, and pile away the money, while still able to actually formulate a budget that allows us to have a life - that was the kicker for me. Starting from scratch, with 2 full-time incomes for the first time in 7 years is just too good to pass up.

Now I know what you are saying - there is no fuckin' way that I am going to last living there. But I do really get along with them, honestly, and they have plenty of room for us. Wife & I get the basement, complete with bedroom, bathroom, bar/kitchenette, fireplace, and a 62" HDTV surrounded by Lazy-boyz (and I make one more) or (You had me at HD). The kids each get there own bedroom upstairs, and they share a bathroom. In-laws bedroom is main floor. There is plenty of room for everyone, and I have trained them well enough at this point that they understand and respect the boundaries.

I gotta admit, I was a little freaked out at first - but in the end, I just want to take care of my family, and since we are there so much anyway helping out sister-in-law, this is the best way for me to do that.

That's the big news, so far. The new job is going pretty well. It's a complete change from my last job, so I really am starting from scratch. But, it seems okay, the people are nice enough, and it looks like it will keep me busy enough for the time to fly by.

I'll post again soon, maybe even in under 2 weeks... maybe.

You stay classy Blogworld.

Until next time,

Dirk

good times.

Hey Blogworld,

So Thursday was my last day in that job, and for that company. It was a little surreal. I had a lot of people say some very nice things to me. I even had a few managers ask to keep in touch, just in case I wanted to come back. I did have an emotional attachment to this job, I created it, developed it, wrote 2 TV commercials, and did a lot, pretty much on my own, so it was a little tough to say good-bye even though I knew for certain that I made the right choice. I also ended up getting an apology from Human Resources, and one from my manager. They fucked up, no question about. The company and HR, like all larger companies, have formula's and criteria and all that sort of shit to help them figure out how much to pay their employees, and when the "industry average" goes up, to make sure we are competitive. Well, thanks to my leaving and my speaking my mind, they are realizing that they not really helping anyone, like they can't see the forest for the trees.

Basically, it came out that my particular job has gone up over the last year, and our HR saw that, but wanted to wait a year, in case the increase was a "blip". So I pointed out that for a specialist job like mine, it was hard to believe a job would go up in pay and then down the next year. And that by waiting a year, it just sounded like they are deciding to pay lower than the average for a year to save money - not really attracting or retaining the right people. Managers are kept out of the loop, so mine did not know that it had gone up and that the HR wanted to wait. So by trying to save a little money, they have lost a well trained employee, will have to raise the salary to attract anyone new, and it will take a long time to get them up to speed. It's gonna cost them more in the long-run, and even the short run. It felt good to hear that they knew the fucked up. But the decision is made, and I am gone.

I went out for a beer with a few people, and there was a couple of people that ended up staying out with me even after the others had left. I had worked with John (*fake name) a little in the last year or so. He's close to my age, and turns out we had traveled to the same places at the same time. I knew him well enough to chat for a few minutes, and that was it. His wife Jane (*fake name) joined us, we talked, drank, good times. At the end, he ended up paying for my beers, we went to their place and called some other friends over, and he had a huge bag of weed. I never would have picked him for a regular toker, but sure enough. I ended up having a lot of fun, on a somewhat emotional day for me, with people I really did not know that well at all. I was hung-over as hell though, and threw up for a few hours in the morning. Good times.

John was kind enough to even slide me a little weed, so I've got about 3 decent joints for the weekend, and I don't start my new job until Tuesday. Giddy-up.

That's most of the news from Dirk's world, but there will be more to come very soon. It looks like we are about to make a huge, rash, and drastic decision, so I will be writing very shortly to give you the update. I've already written enough for today, and this decision will take some writing to explain, so I'll save it for next week some time.

You stay classy, blogworld.

Until next time,
Dirk

A little update, a little clarification

Hey Blogworld,

Yes, it’s true, I am indeed back with another post. Life is busy in Dirk’s world. Trying to clean things up to finish up this week. It’s been very interesting around here since it was announced I was leaving the company. A lot of people have called or stopped by, most of them very surprised, and a lot of other disappointed. That’s nice to hear. A family I have been dealing with for the last several months got a hold of my boss yesterday, and said that they will only deal with me to conclude this little project, which is not quite done. So now the company would like to hire me free-lance in my spare time to finish this project. No problem, but my rate goes up big-time at the end of this week.

This afternoon my boss called me in, and it seems HR has done some digging, and it appears I was supposed to have my job re-graded last year – but it was never done, and no one knows why. As I explained to boss, money was the key – they are not paying me nearly enough, and someone else will. Apparently a couple of people who were interested in my job, are no longer interested – because of the pay. So she apologized a little (a little too late). I told her if I was paid properly, I would not be leaving, and its too late now. She seemed pissed, but I think mostly because now it’s turning into an issue, and she is going to have to take some of the responsibility. Oh well.

I met up with Friend (see He Said, She Said) last week, and had a great visit with her and her little one. One question she had for me made me think, so I better clarify something here. She asked if I used to smoke pot after dropping her home from a night out. (I tended to stay out a little late back in the day). Probably because I have mentioned a few times here that I do enjoy the weed. And no, I did not smoke pot after I dropped her off. I didn’t really start until my second year of university.

But let me set things straight – I am not a total stoner. I was, for a while, but that was a long time ago. I don’t think weed is for everyone, or that it should be a daily thing. I spent a couple of years stoned, and had a great time. But those days are long gone, and while I do enjoy the odd spliff, that’s all they are – odd. I get a couple of joints 4 or 5 times a year, and that’s it. We have a “boys night” about 3 times a year, and get pretty high, but I’m also a lightweight now. It doesn’t take me much anymore.

So, every once in a while for a treat, I get some cookies, put in a movie, spark one up, and chill out quietly by myself. That’s really all there is to it. I find it very relaxing, fun, and a great way for me to just veg out for a little while with my own headspace. Just thought I would clarify a little.

So that’s the quick (but long) update of Dirks world. We actually have the weekend to ourselves for a change, so we’ll probably just take it easy and start to prepare for the big changes that start on Monday when I start the new job. I’ll post again soon, probably, as I seem to be getting into a new groove these days.

You stay classy, Blogworld.

Until next time,
Dirk

My new tattoo

I found a design I liked, and just made a few changes. It's a little tough to see in a picture, but on the first branch on the right is a nest with two birds (for my kids), and a heart carved on the tree for my wife. This is a version of "The Tree of Life", which is a thing I have sort of been into for a while, and is just way to complicated and long and personal to go into.

I love my new ink.

You stay classy, Blogworld.

Until next time,

Dirk

Finally, some changes…

Hey Blogworld,

I just realized how fucking long it has been since I last updated. Wow. No excuses here. I just was not interested. I wrote a dozen or so missives, but just never felt the urge to post them. It’s been a rough go these last few months, lots of stuff going on and not much energy or desire to get off my ass and post. But here I am, so lets get to it.

Some big changes as of late in Dirk’s world. The big news, I finally got another job. It was all very surreal, very fast, and very much like fate. As you know, I have been looking and applying for jobs for a while. I’ve had some interviews, and got very close, but never managed to get the job. A couple of weeks ago, a head-hunter that I dealt with almost 9 years ago called me out of the blue. They usually called every couple years just to check in, but this time they called with a specific job. As fate would have it, I had just started drafting an email to them to see if they might have anything.

They called, had this job, and I explained that I had been out of this field for about 5 years, ever since I got the job I have now. They didn’t think that would matter, that it was personality and ability their client was looking for, not specific experience. I sent my resume, she passed it along, and the next day said they wanted to interview me. Three days later I went, we talked for a bout 45 minutes, and by noon the next day they had offered me the job. It’s a lot more money than I make now, there is a lot more opportunity to move up or around, and the bonus is about 8 times the bonus here.

It’s not my dream job. It’s with a huge bank, I’ll be another number, and I’m still working for the man. I won’t have the high-profile role I have now, no travel, no expense account, and no more independence like I have now. (I’m a one-man department at the moment) But given the changes these last few months, I don’t care. At least this new company doesn’t pretend to be something they are not – unlike my current employer. There is far less politics – they are so big, and my job so small, it’s all based on merit. That will be a nice change, but the best part is the money – it’s a lot more, and for my family, that’s all that matters. I have worked too hard for too little for too long in this job, and it was not getting me anywhere. I am supposed to think a note from the CEO is enough recognition. It is not. I put my job first for the last few years, because my boss knew they had my by the short and curlies - wife working part-time, very unique job and not enough qualifications to do the same job elsewhere. Frankly, I’m just tired of putting up with their shit in order to protect my family. Time to put us first, so I did.

We’re all pretty pleased with things. It’s a fresh start for us, and we needed that. Wife goes back full time in September, when both kids will be full time. So everyone is going to have big changes in the next 6 months, and we are looking forward to it.

On a more personal note, I finally got another tattoo last week. I had been wanting another one for years, and just found a design I liked a couple of weeks ago. I had the artist make a few changes, and got it done last Tuesday. I’ll post a picture soon. I love it, and it felt great to get it done.

There is some more to tell, but this post is long enough for now. I will post again soon (probably), with some more detail of Dirk’s world, and a picture of my new ink.

You stay classy, Blogworld.

Until next time,
Dirk

Struggling along,

Hello Blogworld,

It’s been a while since I last posted, but this time I have an excuse. So its been a couple weeks since my brother-in-law passed away, and though life has been continuing on, it certainly has not been normal.

We found out from the autopsy that he had an enlarged heart. Unless he had done a stress test two days before, it would not have been found. Basically, his heart was working too heard, and compensating without giving any symptoms. It finally reached the point where his heart simply stopped. There was no heart-attack, nothing. He was gone before he even hit the ground and there was nothing that anyone could have done.

The funeral and the days preceding were pretty rough, but the friends and family all banded together pretty tightly right away, so that did help. It has been heartbreaking though. His eldest, who is only a month older than mine, came to me a couple days after he died and asked, “Uncle, can you Daddy things with us sometimes? My daddy isn’t coming back, and we are going to need helps sometimes.” Can you imagine hearing that from a 6 year-old who just lost her father? It was crushing.

Everyone is doing okay, but not great. My father-in-law has had to see the doctor, and I have found myself not sleeping well, not eating well, and occasionally having anxiety attacks. I’m a little surprised, I mean, its not the first time I have been around death or had a loved one pass. I have faced my own mortality before, having been shot at, almost blown-up, and been to countless funerals, but for some reason this is hitting me really hard.

I’m sure a lot of has to do with the closeness of all of it. That could just as easily have been me, and the thought of leaving my family so suddenly is horrific. There was so much that he didn’t get to finish, or teach his girls, - and the thought of my family going through the grief, the sadness, the fear, and fundamental loss and disruption of life that everyone is going through, is truly frightening. As you can see, I’m struggling.

To top things off, I didn’t get the job. I was one of two final candidates, and the only reason I lost out was that I don’t have as much specific experience facilitating workshops, even though a big part of my current job is informal hosting tours, lectures, presentations, and workshops. I really wanted that job, so I’m pissed. I am completely burnt out of the one I have, and I really needed a change. The family could have really used a break for a change, but it just wasn’t in the cards.

So that’s Dirks life as of late – not very fun. Sorry to depress anyone who may have stumbled here, you kinda caught me at a rough spot.

Having been a regular reader of a few people’s blogs, I have had a little inspiration by my friend Lingo Slinger, so will soon post a bit of writing. Once we returned from our travels, Fred and I wrote a book, and a novella, all very loosely based on things we saw and did. It’s been a few years since we have even looked at them, but recent events had me dig them out – and I still think they are pretty good. I’ll post an excerpt soon.

Thanks to all those who took the time to send their thoughts to me over the last couple of weeks, it was truly appreciated.

You stay classy Blogworld,

Until next time,
Dirk

Some days life just sucks

Hey Blogworld,

Things are not well in Dirk's world today. Yesterday afternoon, while waiting on the platform to take the train home to his family, my brother-in-law died. Just like that. He collapsed on the platform. There were three other people waiting as well, one doctor and two nurses, and they performed CPR until paramedics came, who worked on him for another 40 minutes. Nothing worked at all. They didn't even bring him to the hospital. He wasn't sick. Though he had some health issues in his past, he was very active, and just saw his doctor last month. Now he is gone.

He was 41 years old, with two daughters aged 6 and 4. Needless to say, everyone is in shock. He called home at 3:45 to say he would meet the family at the gym. By 5:30 he was dead. When he didn't show up at the gym, everyone assumed he missed the train. Then he was still late to be home, and no phone call. While his wife was on the phone to his mother (who was on a cruise), the kids began to yell because the police were at the door.

When you hear something like this, so close to you, you can't help but project - what if this was me, or what if this was in my home. Its completly heart-breaking. My kids have handled things great. When Eldest talked to her cousin on the phone this morning, she said "don't worry, my dad is great and I will share him with you." Youngest immediately drew a card for his aunt and cousins, and included an angel with their dad's name on it.

I really don't have much else to say at this point.

Keep those you love close, and don't waste time on the silly shit. Its just not worth it.

I'll post again soon.

You stay classy, Blogworld.

Until next time,
Dirk